What the fuck century are you FROM?
In a 1UP post about Team ICO’s next project, The Last Guardian, from this week’s Tokyo Game Show, Matt Leone writes:
Early in development, the main character in The Last Guardian was female, but the team ended up going with a boy. The reason: they thought it would be more realistic that he would have enough grip strength to be able to climb around, and because they wouldn’t have to worry about camera angles with a girl who wears a skirt.
This is the sort of logic that only makes sense in the minds of sexist, retrograde game developers, for two obvious reasons:
1. GIRLS ARE STRONG
Maybe Team ICO are time travelers from the past, but these days, girls do lots of things, including things that involve strength and the ability to hold on to things. Girls are:
THEREFORE, even though it may not be believable to Team ICO, our visitors from the distant past, it is perfectly believable to modern audiences that girls can climb things. (In fact, it is easier to believe that girls don’t have noodles for arms than it is to believe the existence of giant bird-dogs!)
2. GIRLS WEAR FUCKING PANTS
I suppose if Team ICO are time travelers from the past, they may not know about this phenomenon. But nowadays, there are these articles of clothing that are kind of like skirts, but instead of having just one tube of fabric into which both legs fit, there are two tubes of fabric, one for each leg. If you look down, you can see you are probably wearing some right now! Except girls wear them, too! It’s amazing, I know! These articles of clothing make it impossible to look up and see anyone’s underwear, regardless of the person’s gender.
Maybe girls wearing pants is too radical for Team ICO, our time-displaced friends. Fortunately, there is a solution even if the thought of a girl wearing pants (or even worse… SHORTS?!?) makes you send for the fainting couch. There is an article of clothing that has been around for quite some time that aren’t pants, but are thicker and more opaque than tights.
These articles of clothing are called LEGGINGS. Women and girls wear them under skirts or dresses for both fashion and practical reasons. One of the practical reasons is they prevent perverts from taking fucking upskirt pictures.
Giving your female character leggings (which are nearly skintight and therefore don’t even require extra modeling): upskirt problem solved!
But the bottom line is:
IF YOU REALLY WANTED A FEMALE CHARACTER, YOU WOULD HAVE JUST DONE IT.
So–and this message goes out to all game developers out there, time travelers from the past or not–stop it with the terrible excuses and give us female characters already. There are no good reasons to not have a female character. Of course, all these stupid excuses from developers hide the real reason, which is they just don’t want to have a female character.
Here’s a tip: If you didn’t want one in the first place, then just fucking say it. At least then you’re being an honest sexist asshole, instead of a sexist asshole who makes stupid excuses that defy basic logic.